Tuesday, 6 August 2013

Preparing to be Away

We are at a wedding on Saturday of two very dear friends. L was invited while she was still my tummy resident. But the venue isn't baby friendly, a tall town house in central London. No way to get the pram up the stairs into a small ceremony room.

My parents are coming up to look after L for the afternoon and evening. I am confident in my mum, she has been up weekly since L was born and cares for L in the way I do, she knows how we settle her and can read her cues. But. They are not us and L has never been looked after by anyone other than us in her eight weeks here. I know my dad will love all the cuddles L sometimes needs at bedtime I just hope L is happy to take them off her grandparents rather than her parents. 

It will be the longest either of us has been away from L since she was delivered. It will no doubt feel strange to be so far from her and not have her so close to hand for me to check on or just stare at. The power of technology will allow some "face time" and I will be in near constant communication with my parents throughout the day. 

As much as I am worrying about it I want L to be able to settle with others, I want her to be able to be left with trusted adults so that Daddy Morkus and I can go and do the things we loved pre L. Date nights and alone time. I was sent to grandparents over night from a youngish age and loved it, it also helped me build a really strong relationship with them. For five years before we were Mummy and Daddy we were R and J and we want to retain some sense of ourselves as a couple.  

I am also, stupidly, worried that people will judge me for this attitude. Will judge me for leaving L with baby sitters at just 8 weeks old. Already I am feeling that spectra of judgement because of my parenting choices for my family. I know I am leaving L with the best possible surrogates for us but not every one will agree with me leaving her at all. 

Hopefully this day will be a successful test run into babysitters for L and in away time for her parents. And that I can shake off the worry about what other people think.

No comments:

Post a Comment