Debrief on Birth Grief

I wrote last year about my fears about L's delivery. I wrote about how the scars of her caesarean were more than physical.

After writing that post I had a debrief with a wonderful midwife at the hospital where L was born. This was something I had been thinking of doing for a while and something which I was only ready to do when L was nearly 2 years old. It became more urgent for me to address as I realised my continued fears and anxieties following L's delivery were preventing me from wanting to expand our family, were making me fear pregnancy.

Twelve Short Months: Admitted Over Easter

I had broken up for Easter feeling full of beans. I knew that come the next holiday I would be going on maternity leave. I was at a great bump size which was comfortable to sleep with, I was feeling regular kicks and rolls from baby and staring to really notice which bits were poking out. What happened in the next was the scariest point of my pregnancy.

Word of the Week: Absence

This last month has been full with brand new presence. Three brand new baby girls have been born to friends over the last month. Two firstborns and one little sister. 

It's been wonderful to welcome these bundles of joy and to celebrate with their parents but it has made me aware of the absence of something else.

Broodiness. 

A Rush of Love

This is an honest story. It is not an easy post to write or share. It is about falling in love with my baby.

 

Reflections on a birth

L is 3 months old and this mark of a quarter of a way through her first year has prompted me to look back on our labour and her birth.