Labour, Love and Fear

My news feeds have been full of beautiful newborns and blossoming bumps. Pictures full of love. But, the space where broodiness was once swelled by these wonderful sights, is now filled with fear and trepidation.

Not fear of the newborn, not fear of the sleepless night, not fear of the growing family and its demands. But fear of the labour.

No birth is a walk in the park, but our labour with L was far from how we imagined it. It remains a confusing and painful memory, and missing memories still trouble me. 

40 weeks in and 40 weeks out.

This week marks the date on which L had been out as long as she was in. 

A pregnancy is always referred to as nine months, but at 40 weeks it is usually closer to ten months by the time a baby arrives into the world. Two weeks of a pregnancy are counted before a baby is even conceived. By 37 weeks a baby is full term and arrival from then causes no real concerns but there are still signs that they have come out of the oven a bit early. A baby is not seen as an individual or person in their own right lawfully until they have been delivered and separated from their mother. Your baby is the only person on the planet who knows the sound of your heart beat on the inside. 



Bump from 4 weeks to 40 weeks with baby shower at 36 weeks.

Word of the Week: Absence

This last month has been full with brand new presence. Three brand new baby girls have been born to friends over the last month. Two firstborns and one little sister. 

It's been wonderful to welcome these bundles of joy and to celebrate with their parents but it has made me aware of the absence of something else.

Broodiness.